Core genius

I had this great plan for posting my second annual Mother’s Day Meme on Mother’s Day (which would be quite sensible), alas my cold had other plans and I spend the entire weekend lying in bed bemoaning my fate.  Hopefully it is not too unfashionable to post this a day late (you know how I worry about fashion!).

In The Success Principles, Jack Canfield (of the Chicken Soup series fame) says that one important thing to do in business is to focus on what you do best.  I’m paraphrasing here, but, the theory is that you have to find the intersection between the things you do best, the things you enjoy the most, and the things that bring in the most money.  That intersection is your Core Genius, and once you have identified it you are supposed to focus on that thing (or those things) and delegate the rest.

When I read that a few years ago, it reminded me about something I had read in Jennifer Lawler’s Dojo Wisdom for Mothers  – a reminder that you don’t have to be everything to your kid.  If he or she enjoys something that drives you crazy, you can always find someone else to do that actviity while you spend your time doing the things you both enjoy.

That, in turn, got me thinking about core genius in mothering.

To be clear, when Lawler was talking about activities, she wasn’t referring to the daily labours of mothering she wasn’t suggesting that you can ditch all the unpleasant tasks. You will have to do at least some of the toilet training and some of the dsciplining.  But in the midst of all of those necessary tasks there are some that you can choose between and you can always choose to celebrate the tasks you are best at and cut yourself some slack on the rest.

So, it’s hard for you to entertain your kids on a busy day, or you find it a challenge to let them roam as freely as you like. That’s fine, you can either work on those things or accept them (and yourself) as is, whichever your personality dictates. But what is your core genius of mothering? We can’t really talk about mothering in terms of the money it brings in but we can talk about it in terms of the rewards of joy or satisfaction.

My core genius of mothering is communication. I get a lot of satisfaction out of really listening, of making sure as much of the world makes sense to my sons as possible, out of teaching them to communicate effectively verbally an non-verbally. I may suck at home schedules but I TALk to my kids and I LISTEN to them.

And I feel good about that.

So, in the tradition that I started last year this is my second annual mothering meme:

What is your ‘core genius’ of mothering? What is the common theme running through all of your mothering successes? If we were creating some sort of über-franken-mother what part would we take from you?

Tell me about it in the comments or on your own blog or on facebook or hell, even on twitter.

7 thoughts on “Core genius

  1. See, now I wish I still had a mommyblog.

    I think I do the teaching well. I find it easy most of the time to put things into terms that Frances can understand, and I respect her and her intelligence. And I’m good at us making stuff together. We do craft projects and cook and bake together and she has a nice stable of arts adn craft supplies. So. There are my two for this year. 🙂

    This is a really great idea.

  2. I am pretty intuitive, so I can usually sense if there’s something going on with one of my kids. And I’m good at talking things through with people, so I can generally help my kids to figure out what’s bothering them and consider some possible solutions; then come up with an action plan for dealing with it (either on their own or with some help from one or both parents).

    PS – I’ve seen Andrea and Frances together and the love just flows back and forth. I love being with them because they’re so happy being together. (That’s probably a sickening thing to post, but it’s true.)

  3. Hi. Andrea sent me over from Twitter.

    My core genius would have to be affection and reinforcing self-esteem. When my daughter needs me, I am there.

  4. Such a great questions, especially when we often focus on what we’re not doing well. I really had to think about this one!

    Like Mad, I’m going to go with both affection and reinforcing self-esteem. If nothing else, my boys will never doubt that they are dearly loved, and that I am proud of them no matter what they do.

  5. mombie says:

    Hi Dani, Mad, Ann and Andrea, so glad to see your answers!

    You all sound like great moms to me. 🙂

  6. I would probably say that for me it’s communication. I talk a lot and I love explaining things to my son, chatting with him, hearing him put words to his feelings, listening to his imagination take off.

    But we don’t just stop with talking: I think I’m pretty good at teaching my son that it’s ok to express your emotions, that we all feel sad, happy, angry, frustrated, silly at times, even grown ups. Of course, this also means showing each other how we feel about each other, frequently. As a result our family does a great job of letting each other know how much we love each other, verbally and non-verbally.

  7. Jacquie says:

    Hmmm…_ I am not used to looking at my strengths as mother – I just do it, for my own and all of the children I take care of. I think I am an encourager, I am very affectionate and terribly silly.Yet, I am also a ‘no nonsense’ sort of person. Putting that all together, I am not sure what comes at the intersection, but I think it may require medical intervention and prescription medication!

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