#Reverb10 Day 3: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

I had a lot of trouble with this one.  I had lots of moments in which I felt very alive but the ones that are most vivid are very private, and sharing them would violate what made them so sharp and intense.

And I don’t think  in terms of favourites, or single-most and I’m not sure whether I’m supposed to pick the very best or just one of the many.  Since I don’t categorize things in a way that would let me distill a single shining moment, I’m just going to pick one that really makes me feel good to think of and run with that.

A Moment

I’m not good with winter, let me say that. I live in Newfoundland where it never gets very, very warm and it never gets very,very cold, but winter is damned chilly and damp and I feel much more inclined to stay inside with a book than to venture outside.

Actually, the only way I can make myself go outdoors is to find a specific thing to do out there and since but I have two boys (6 & 9) who do like to be outdoors I work hard to find reasons to get the whole family outside.  A few years ago Santa brought us all snowshoes to encourage me to have a reason to get out there.  And that brings us to my moment.

One Sunday last February, I huffed and puffed and pushed us all outside with our snowshoes and we trudged to the field by the school near our house.  If this was a fantasy or a movie, the sun would be shining and it would be unseasonably warm and my whole attitude would change at that very moment, but this was real life.

It was really cold, the wind was on my face, and everything smelled sort of sharp, but in a good way, and my boys were thrilled to be tromping around in the snow with me and The Man.  Their faces were red, except for their grins, their mismatched collection of baby and grown-up teeth gleamed at me and they challenged us to a race.

They turned and took off, legs swinging along, their feet giant in yellow and red snow shoes.  My husband and I dashed off after them, doing that parent thing where you put in a real effort while trying not to actually win a race.

My heart was racing, my breaths in were hitting the back of my nose hard and my teeth were getting dry from smiling in the cold air.  My husband was ahead of me and the boys were ahead of me, and being outside in the cold felt good for a change, and I felt like I was doing good things for my kids and myself while I was pushing my muscles just a little.

It all felt REAL and clear, and right and I was inhabiting every part of myself at once, no separate mental track, just the here and now.  And that is so unusual for this overthinker that it stuck with me.