I’m really struggling with voice here.
When I read some of my old blog entries, I love the way the me of then shines through and I like the things I had to say. For a while there I was juggling so many things and so many competing needs, that I ended up dropping the blogging.
Now I’m afraid of ending up writing dull little blogs about goals without delving into the thinky bits. The thinky bits are the best stuff. Of course, they also tend to be the parts that waver over into territory I don’t want to cover. I want to give my kids (and myself) as much privacy as possible and while I want to talk about mothering, I don’t want to talk about the kids, per se. I want to find that line somewhere. I used to do a decent job on that tightrope before, perhaps it is just a matter of the right umbrella and top hat this time? Note to self: acquire top hat.
I’m also nervous because of how the blogging world has changed (it happens, I’m not knocking it) and how posts are supposed to be short and snappy and fact-filled now. My thoughts don’t translate to short and snappy very well.
And I’m ‘supposed’ to include photos, but I don’t take very many, so I don’t know where to start with that.
I do a lot of thinking and I’d like to do more writing about it – but first I need to give myself the space to do so (metaphorical space, not physical space). I need to take the advice that people give writers about novels, and I need to write the sort of things I’d like to read. This isn’t a business blog, I don’t need a model, I just need to write and gather a few readers as I go.
Yes, I did say ‘a few readers’ – I’m not looking for a huge readership (but a large adoring fanbase that never finds fault with my writing would be awesome). I would just like to have a few conversations on things that resonate with me.
So, I am going to try to give myself that space, to just be and think and write, to concentrate on the process not the result, and to see where that leads me.
While I’m talking about concentrating on the process, I did manage to get up and do yoga this morning, and it wasn’t even that hard. Oddly, I think it was admitting that it might be a challenge that made it less difficult to get up.
When I finished my yoga, I did 15 minutes of writing, so I had 540 words written before my breakfast. It was a damn good start to a busy but productive day. I plan to write a total of 2000 words today, so I had better write some fiction now.