(I’m sleepy today and I’m reluctant to write, so I decided to just pick something silly to start with. Potatoes are silly, yes?)
Day 1 – I put the potato on his doorstep as I was instructed. A single potato, small enough to sit in the palm of my hand. I’m not sure why I was supposed to put it there, right in the middle of the step, exactly in the center of the doormat, but I was told it was important so I did it. I slouched in the front seat of my car across the street and watched him come out to grab the paper out of the mailbox and go back in. I thought he hadn’t noticed the potato but as soon as the door closed, it opened again and he stuck his head out and slowly looked down. He shook his head as if trying to clear his vision. The potato didn’t disappear, so he reached down, picked it up and slid it into the pocket of his bathrobe.
Day 2 – Carrots. That was my next mission. I laid them in the center of his mat and strolled away. I went all the way to the end of his street, turned around and walked back past his house just as he was coming out for the paper again. He looked right at the mat this time, sighed, and then picked up the vegetables.
Day 3 – Turnip and Onions. They were very roll-y so it was hard to keep them parked dead-center, but eventually I stood the turnip on its flat top and braced the onion against it. I didn’t want him to notice me so I didn’t stick around to watch him retrieve them.
Day 4 – Beef. I was concerned about the safety of putting meat out on someone’s step to await discovery, so I put the beef in ice in a pot – even though that wasn’t included in my instructions. I had no need to worry though, he was quick to come out to discover it. Too quick really, I was only part of the way down his driveway. I tried to look nonchalant, but he didn’t buy it.
‘Hey!’ His shout made me stand still. ‘Tell Mom that I’m not stewing, these things take time. Ally only left two weeks ago.’
I nodded and kept walking. I wasn’t sure if Marion would be happy that her elaborate message had been received or if she’d be annoyed that I’d been caught. Either way, she was doing her own dirty work next time – even if she was away on vacation.