Now that all of the formal mourning is behind me, the decisions and the wake and the funeral, I have a sense of peace about everything.

I’m sad and I’m tired and I can’t really fathom that I’ll never be able to make my Dad laugh again.

Making my Dad laugh wasn’t hard but it felt like a victory every time.

But still, I feel peaceful.

I did what I could when I could.

I helped everyone say goodbye in a fitting way.

And I loved my Dad completely, even when he was frustrating me.

So, even as I work to get used to life without him, I can feel at ease about the time we had together.

I just wish there had been more of it.