For the past month, I have been doing some extra mobility/rehab exercises every day.
This week, I noticed two things:
1) After my exercises on Tuesday, I felt great!
A little muscle-tired but my brain was awake and my body felt good.
2) Last night, when I reached down for Khalee’s water bowl, the movement was easy.
It’s never super-hard but there has been a sort of stiffness, a resistance, in my movements.
Last night, though, I felt fluid and flexible.
I love this for me!
My TKD classes take a a summer break and I love taking time away from that weekly routine.
I generally don’t need a break from TKD per se, I need a break from having to get to class twice a week at a specific time.
This year though, I also needed the physical break, the time away from the movements.
After the stress and pain around my Dad’s passing in May and the stress of scrambling to catch up on things in June, I needed to just let my body do what it wanted to do at whatever pace it wanted to do it for a while.
Today, though, it was time to get back to those movements and it felt really good.
I just did the first four patterns, relatively easy stuff that my brain and my muscles are very familiar with.
And it was fantastic.
I loved the almost meditative quality of those familiar movements, the ease of just letting my body do something it knows how to do.
And I felt very satisfied with the whole process when I was finished.
Self care for the win.
I’m not going to get whiny here but three things are getting on my nerves lately.
1) I keep forgetting to drink water throughout the day and then I wake up at night feeling like I have been in the desert.
2) I’m having extra trouble choosing where to focus so I haven’t been able to write some things I want to write. This isn’t writer’s block, it’s grief and I am trying to be kind to myself until this particular aspect passes. It’s frustrating in the meantime, though.
3) My body wants get moving, work hard, really get my muscles working. My brain and my metaphorical heart are insisting on moving slowly. If I try to push myself at all it either stirs up my emotions or I feel instantly exhausted.
I know these things take time but I wouldn’t mind if they took a little less time than this.
When my kids were little, I loved going for a walk with them in the stroller.
I hated getting ready to go for a walk, all the hassle of snowsuits or sunscreen, but the walk itself felt really good.
Not only was I getting some exercise but I was being a “good” mom, making sure my kids had fresh air and that they had gotten out of the house and…you know how that virtuous feeling goes.
Pushing them in the stroller felt especially purposeful. I guess it was hard enough work that it counted for something in my brain.
When they got too old for the stroller, I still liked getting out for a walk, especially if we had a destination in mind. It wasn’t the same but it was still good.
When they got old enough I walked them back and forth to school. That, obviously, also felt purposeful.
When they no longer needed me to walk them there, I pretty much only walked when I needed to get somewhere and walking there (or home) was feasible.
Overall, I liked the *idea* of walking for exercise (and I love listening to books or podcasts while I walk) but I had trouble making myself head out unless I had somewhere specific to go.
But, once Khalee came into our lives in 2019, my walks had automatic purpose again.
On any given day, I might feel kind of meh about heading out for a walk, but I won’t let Khalee down.
Unless the weather is truly horrible/dangerous or I am very sick, Khalee and I bundle up and head out.
Sometimes it’s tricky to schedule that walk into my day but it’s always worth it. We both feel better afterwards (well, I definitely do and Khalee always seems relaxed after a walk.)
I still hate having to get us ready to go out though but at least Khalee doesn’t complain about it as much as the kids did. 😉
I want a lot out of this month but I am trying to teach myself to add things slowly instead of trying to do everything all at once.
After all, I know that successful changes, new practices, come from starting small and building up.
BUT
I also know that jumping right into a bunch of new practices all at once feels good. I feel engaged and energetic and accomplished…until I run out of steam.
And despite the fact that I run out of steam EVERY SINGLE TIME, my brain still wants to chase that excited feeling of doing ALL OF THE THINGS.
Without the benefits of medication and experience, I would be planning to do more art, more writing, more exercise, more Taekwon-do, more house organizing, more everything all at once, starting right now, maybe half an hour of each, on top of what I already do each day.
It would be fun today but by the end of the week, I would be out of steam.
So, instead, I am layering all of those things into my life during May.
I will ‘touch’ each habit each day but only really focus on one at a time.
Let’s see how it goes.
