As in starting to post regularly AGAIN.

My ADHD frequently disrupts my routines and plans, especially for stuff that is just for myself.

BUT

I have gotten really, really good at starting again.

And, with practice, I have learned to start again without recrimination or self-judgement.

A victory, really.

Luckily, I am not someone who puts a lot of faith in omens.

Otherwise, the fact that the first thing I did this morning was slip on the stairs and fall down a couple, causing me to twist my back, would be a very bad sign for the year ahead.

Instead, I’m recognizing that accidents happen – sometimes you just step wrong.

And none of that has anything to do with the year ahead.

What I do know is that I am starting the year properly because once I had that happen this morning I adjusted my plan for the day to match what my capacity was and to ensure that my day could still be as satisfying as possible.

And then really proves to me that I’ve gotten much better at taking good care of myself over the past few years.

I didn’t try to get everything done on my list.

I didn’t for ahead like I had something to prove.

I took my injuries, minor as they were, into account and did what I could instead of doing what I thought I should.

And I’m actually quite proud of myself for that.

After all, the things on my to do list and any goals, I might have are all supposed to serve me. They are not about objective, abstract, ideas of what needs to be done.

And it’s good for me to remember that.

I am really determined to take December slowly this year.

And I’m already off to a good start.

Often, I use December as an excuse, an external pressure, to get projects finished around my house.

So, in addition to the extra tasks of shopping and preparing for Christmas, I ended up giving myself all kinds of extra work.

Not this year though.

This year I have decided that any project I take on in December has to be very short and can’t involve lot of upheaval.

It has already paid off because my mind is a lot less busy than it usually is as we move into this month.

I’m really happy I created that boundary for myself with myself.

After all if I don’t look after myself then who will?

I feel like Friday morning slid into Monday morning without me stopping for breath.

On Friday, I was working on a grant application and on Saturday I went to a story workshop and a couple of other events, Sunday morning I went to another storytelling event – so I know how I spent that time but Sunday afternoon is kind of a blur.

I mean, I know I walked the dog, planted a few bulbs and did a little reading but I didn’t spend very long at either one – I really don’t know where my time went.

I’m not complaining about that – I feel good about my weekend and even about the mysteries of yesterday- it’s just weird how time shifts and reshapes if I don’t tell myself to pay close attention.

I’m spending a lot of time in my head these days.

And it feels like everything I want to write about is too complicated or too big for me to get into in the time that I have.

That means I’ve been avoiding writing and in the big picture that’s not gonna be helpful.

So I’m posting this kind of ?placeholder today and trying to come back for a longer writing session tomorrow.

?