I just have a bunch of drafts, so I won’t be sharing them here.

In a challenge like this, I find that the poems that I write are the least important parts.

The drafts that I write are interesting, but kind of ordinary. They aren’t brilliant, they aren’t evidence of my singular genius.

They are just snippets of ideas, scraps of something.

But there are a lot of them.

As the month goes on, my brain gets into poem-mode and starts looking for things to write poetically about.

Thinking like that feels really good.

And THAT’S why I like doing this challenge.

I had a rough morning.

All kinds of stuff went wrong. Nothing huge, just annoying stuff.

I felt like I had to carry too many things and that I kept dropping them – metaphorically, not literally.

I felt like I was being pulled in multiple directions as questions popped up while I was in the middle of other stuff.

I realized at lunchtime that I had forgotten to make some oatmeal loaf this morning – something I had promised my son I would do for him today.

Then I dropped an egg on the floor.

And the whole time this was happening, I felt flustered and annoyed and resentful.

And I was feeling stressed about trying to get a few things done that I couldn’t even start until late in the day.

It turns out that I had forgotten to take my meds this morning.

So I was trying to push my unmedicated brain through a very convoluted day and to use that same brain to plan ahead.

Once I took my meds and my brain started to untangle I felt such compassion for myself – not only the me of today but the me of times past who would regularly end up in days that felt like this.

It was a relief to know what was going on and a relief to be able to dig myself out of it.

As I write this I am sitting on my bed being cranky.

I don’t have anything in particular to be cranky about. I just feel out of sorts because today was kind of jumbled and and I’m a bit out of it.

I might be getting a migraine?

It feels like I’m in that neighbourhood, at least.

I started my day at the dentist and getting a filling often puts me at risk of a migraine .

So, yeah, I’m all jumbled.

There was just too much day in my day.

Today made me think of all the warm walks the spring and summer will hold.

?

I did ok with pacing myself through my day yesterday and I’m doing ok with it today but that instinct to just do all of the things before resting is strong.

My brain obviously knows that it is hard for me to start tasks and it wants me to keep going while I am already in focus mode.

It worries that I will forget.

It worries that I will dive into something fun and struggle to stop doing that and start something else.

And I appreciate that my brain is trying to protect me.

But since doing all of the things right away is not even possible, I wish it would trust me to rest and then return.

Perhaps that will come over time.