So, yesterday I mentioned that I make a mental map of my day but that I’m not sure if other people do that.

Here’s how it goes for me-

I have a vague mental image of a calendar that I bring to mind throughout my day.

Anything that has to happen at a specific time is ‘blocked off’ – it’s a fixed point.

So my mental calendar of my day might be a kind of blank space from 9-11:30 on which ai know I am going to work but I haven’t decided on specific tasks, then a blocked-off section for a meeting at 11:30, then another for lunch with my family, then more work time.

On a regular day, I don’t do a lot of visualizing of specific tasks, I just have that mental calendar.

But on a busy day, or on a day when the timing of tasks matters (on Tuesday, I had to bake cookies before my friend got here for tea), I actually do a short mental rehearsal.

I might even start the night before, imagining myself getting out of bed getting dressed and then making tea while putting the oven on. Then I’ll imagine making the cookies and putting a load of laundry in while they are in the oven. Once my imaginary cookies are on the future table, I might visualize my client’s face on my screen for a Zoom meeting, and then my hands on the keyboard writing something. If I know I have to run an errand, I’ll get a quick flash of me walking the right direction in the store.

This mental mapping is great when I’m in charge of my day but if something comes up and I have to change my plan then I need a few minutes to recalibrate – as if the GPS guiding me through my day needs to do some calculations.

I think I have always done this unconsciously but I’m the last few years I have often chosen to do it so I can feel less harried on busy days when I have a lot to remember.

I have gotten the impression that either this mental mapping is an unusual thing to do or that the way I do it/describe it is odd.

So, once again, I’m left wondering – Is this an everyone thing? A me thing? An ADHD thing?

Either way, becoming conscious of my mental map has been really helpful for me. Not only can I make use of it to get things done but knowing that I have automatically done it has helped me to understand why I get frustrated when I have to add things in that I haven’t ’rehearsed.’

And knowing why I’m frustrated helps me manage that feeling and keeps me from being cranky at someone for a perfectly reasonable request.

I prefer to save my crankiness for when I need it – I don’t want to waste it on ordinary things. 😉

I really struggle with planning things in advance.

I know this is related to my ADHD, and it has to do with having trouble imagining a different time than now.

So I can imagine a time in the future when something is done and what that will look like. (Not everyone with ADHD can do that some people have trouble envisioning done.)

And I know what things are like now.

But I have trouble imagining the place in between those two. The place where the work is actually getting done where there’s a step-by-step process.

And if I’m very stressed, I have trouble imagining that time when things will be done.

I know that lots of people plan things for their future imagining that they’ll be much more organized much more clear, much more prepared than they are right now. Apparently, though, if left to my own devices, I will do that to an extreme extent.

If I don’t choose to be conscious of it, my imagined self automatically has the skills and materials required to do the thing. I will default to imagining that any task will be easier, more straightforward, in the future. After all I will have somehow magically gained different skills and capacities by then.

It takes a lot of energy for me to sit down and think about that in between time. It takes a lot of energy for me to remember that I’m not going to magically gain the skills or resources. It takes a lot of energy for me to break down that imagined completed task into the parts that need to be done.

And that ties into the task, initiation challenges that people with ADHD face, gathering the energy to begin a task, I have to battle two different ADHD tendencies in order to make a plan.

However, I do have better abilities for the short term future.

I am often easily able to marshal the energy to plan out a day or to plan ahead for the next morning.

I think it’s because I can easily imagine the future self who will benefit from those actions and I know that there is no time to get magically better at the tasks in the meantime.

For example, today, I cooked the meat I will be using for supper and made something for lunch all before 9 o’clock this morning.

And I love the feeling I have right now.

Instead of envisioning my day with the herd stop it 4:30 or 5 o’clock to get supper started, things feel a little looser at the end of the day, but in a good way.

And instead of giving myself a mental picture of making lunch at 12:30 I can skip ahead and just imagine that I’m sitting down at 1 o’clock to eat.

As I say that now I’m wondering – Does everybody actually sort of visualize themselves through the day in one way or another?

Hmm, maybe that’s a whole other post to consider.

It’s such a cliche but I guess a cliche is a cliche for a reason, isn’t it?

Waking up to sunshine for the second morning in a row really feels fantastic.

But, me being me, I immediately wonder – ‘How can I help myself to feel this way even when it’s not sunny out?’

My brain is really wired to seek optimization, even if I can’t always follow through on the plan.

I’m not a huge fan of meetings, especially for things that can be handled with an email but I do like to meet with people when nuanced things need to be discussed.

After all, once there has been a misunderstanding via email it can be very hard to get things back on track.

Today, I’m starting my day and my week with three meetings with three magnificent people and it feels good, not like a hassle or a burden.

And it feels like something I may want to make a habit of – starting my week with good energy by connecting to interesting people who have interesting projects.

Let’s see how this goes.

So, I finished two very important projects today and it feels great to have them off my mind.

But a few minutes ago I said aloud ‘Oh, this has been a GOOD day.’ and now I am seriously overthinking things.

Did I label today good because I got work done?

Or was it good because I did what I intended to do?

If my tasks were all relaxation-oriented would I still be calling this a good day?

I think I would but I have to pay attention here.

After spending the first 40 years of my life thinking I just wasn’t working hard enough, it would be way too easy for me to fall into the trap of working hard = good.

And that could be a real setback for me.

Tons of questions but no clear answers.

It’s how I roll.