Mombie – a bit of everything

Finally, the day I’ve been waiting for!

Khalee is somehow both vigilant and relaxed in the yard.

A light haired dog sitting in the grass and sniffing the air on a sunny day.
Image description: a sunshine-y photo of Khalee, my light-haired medium-sized dog, is wearing a fun purple cooling scarf while she sits in the grass (a low kind of sitting, with her belly on the ground and her back paws under her) while she sniffs the air and looks to the left of the photo.

And I am sitting on my patio mat about to do some yoga.

It’s warm, I drank my tea outdoors, and I feel relaxed.

It’s finally summer!

That’s one hurdle cleared

I was really dreading Father’s Day.

I’ve always felt bad about how everyone on social media changes their photos and writes a little post about how their Dad is the greatest. All I could think of was how terrible people who had lost their Dads or people who didn’t have the Dad they needed (or any Dad at all) must feel about that celebration of fatherhood.

Usually, my Father’s Day post would be about how it was ok to feel however you feel about the day – to celebrate if you felt good and it was ok to be angry or sad or whatever and to take good care of yourself while you felt those feelings.

This year, though, I wasn’t even up to that.

I was dreading the day – especially since I seemed to be getting so many targeted ads about Father’s Day gifts. I suspect that all my posts about my Dad’s death signalled the algorithm that I wanted to see things about fathers (sigh.)

So, I made a plan for taking good care of myself in case the day was hard.

I felt ok about some things but not about others.

I was ok with doing the usual celebrations for my husband and with making cookies and a card for my beloved Father-in-law.

But I knew I couldn’t go and visit my FIL and I couldn’t drop by my Mom’s place.

And posting on FB was out of the question – in fact, I knew I had better minimize my time on there entirely.

With those protections in place, my day went as smoothly as possible.

I had a few tears – especially when it occurred to me to call my Dad so he wouldn’t think I had forgotten to wish him Happy Father’s Day.

I felt a bit down and kind of stuck so I took things as easily as possible, with lots of breaks and lots of low-key things I enjoy (I did a lot of doodling yesterday.)

I had a good text chat with a dear friend of mine.

I went to bed early.

It wasn’t an easy day but it wasn’t nearly as hard as it could have been.

I’m glad it’s behind me though.

Ready for summer…

I’m just waiting on the damn weather to get the hint.

It’s 5 degrees and raining today.

I’m not a fan.

A photo of a patio, a chair, and two tables on a rainy day
Image description: a photo of the corner of my patio. There is a lawn chair with a red cushion, a small round red table and a white table that is hanging off the patio railing. The grass in the background is bright green, but the tree directly behind the chair has only very small leaves on it yet. It is a rainy day.

Writing for an audience?

I don’t think anyone is reading this blog unless they happen upon it. I’m sure it’s not particularly interesting most of the time.

And I’m not sure I want to make it more interesting.

Obviously, I wouldn’t want to bore a reader on purpose but seeing as I am writing here for my own sake, as a placeholder, as a daily ritual, the reader is not the main focus of this particular type of writing.

If I were to think about potential readers, I would probably post far less frequently because ai would get too tangled up in what to say on any given day.

Instead, I am thinking more of some writing advice I read a long time ago – ‘What do you need them to know?’

I’m concerned with saying what I mean to say as clearly as I can instead of concerning myself with whether the reader likes what I am saying.

I mean, I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read anything I have written but I think it’s important for me, and for any readers, to know the whys and hows of this blog.

I’m writing to keep my gears turning, for the comfort of ritual, to make sure that my brain knows the way to the page.

On some days, the way to the page is clear and I have something specific to say.

On others, I am stumbling forward and I have to find something to say.

The posts here are about the process of thinking and posting much more than about trying to be any good.

I’ll worry about that in other contexts.

Belated Monsters

I forgot to post these when I drew them but they have been doing their work the whole time.

Image description: a group of small round monsters that look a bit like a cluster of grapes in a variety of colours and different faces. Each monster has a series of gold spikes encircling their head. Text next to the monsters reads “ this group of tiny monsters sticks together until someone tries to take over their space. If that happens they spread out in a circle so they have all the room they need. They told me to tell you that they’ll do the same around you anytime you need them.
Image description: a group of small round monsters that look a bit like a cluster of grapes in a variety of colours and different faces. Each monster has a series of gold spikes encircling their head. Text next to the monsters reads “ this group of tiny monsters sticks together until someone tries to take over their space. If that happens they spread out in a circle so they have all the room they need. They told me to tell you that they’ll do the same around you anytime you need them.”