Author: Christine

Christine http://www.mombie.com I'm a writer/storyteller/director/creativity & lifestory coach with a black belt in ITF Taekwon-do. I read voraciously and I write like my fingers are on fire. I'm the founder and Co-Chair of the Association for the Arts in Mount Pearl and I'm the current president of the St. John's Storytelling Festival. I bake a mean chocolate chip cookie.

Last Day Of School

No one in my house is in school so this ‘last day of school’ feeling I have is definitely misplaced but I’ll still roll with it.

Not much is changing between my spring and my summer really but I am definitely changing my perspective on my day to day.

I am insisting on slowing down.

Now I just have the figure out the mechanics of how that can be done.

This is one of the perils of ADHD – What is enough to do? When is a a good time to do it? Where is the line between relaxing and ‘slacking off’ ? Intellectually, I know that slacking off isn’t inherently bad but I also know that there is a point at which I have dialled things back so much that it is hard to start again.

Damned if I know where the line is though.

I’ve been looking forward to “summer break”

The only difference between my winter schedule, and my summer schedule is the fact that I don’t have taekwondo classes during the summer.

So I have been looking forward to “summer break” but without kids in school and with my various projects and tasks continuing into the summer things aren’t going to be all that different.

Except for the fact that my single regularly scheduled activity won’t be happening.

And I guess that change in routine is enough to shake things up a bit.

Freeing up two evenings and Saturday morning is enough to give me a feeling of expansiveness, like there is more time to do the things I want to do.

Yes, realistically, my TKD classes aren’t in the way of things I want to do but I have those evenings and Saturday mornings blocked off in my mental schedule so they feel like nothing else can go on around those times (this is a mental hurdle I’m working on.)

So, with those classes no longer a factor in my schedule, I really feel like I can explore what kind of summer I want to have, how I want to spend my time, how I can fully enjoy the extra freedom of a changed schedule, warmer weather (I hope!) and a clear idea of the things I want to do.

Now I just need to get that clear idea in place. 😉

My favourite colour

Is this an ordinary tree?

Absolutely.

Did the cheery green of its leaves make me very happy all the same?

Absolutely.

A photo of bright green leaves, small narrow ones on either side of a central twig, on the thin branches of a tree. There is grass beneath.
A photo of bright green leaves, small narrow ones on either side of a central twig, on the thin branches of a tree. There is grass beneath.

That’s one hurdle cleared

I was really dreading Father’s Day.

I’ve always felt bad about how everyone on social media changes their photos and writes a little post about how their Dad is the greatest. All I could think of was how terrible people who had lost their Dads or people who didn’t have the Dad they needed (or any Dad at all) must feel about that celebration of fatherhood.

Usually, my Father’s Day post would be about how it was ok to feel however you feel about the day – to celebrate if you felt good and it was ok to be angry or sad or whatever and to take good care of yourself while you felt those feelings.

This year, though, I wasn’t even up to that.

I was dreading the day – especially since I seemed to be getting so many targeted ads about Father’s Day gifts. I suspect that all my posts about my Dad’s death signalled the algorithm that I wanted to see things about fathers (sigh.)

So, I made a plan for taking good care of myself in case the day was hard.

I felt ok about some things but not about others.

I was ok with doing the usual celebrations for my husband and with making cookies and a card for my beloved Father-in-law.

But I knew I couldn’t go and visit my FIL and I couldn’t drop by my Mom’s place.

And posting on FB was out of the question – in fact, I knew I had better minimize my time on there entirely.

With those protections in place, my day went as smoothly as possible.

I had a few tears – especially when it occurred to me to call my Dad so he wouldn’t think I had forgotten to wish him Happy Father’s Day.

I felt a bit down and kind of stuck so I took things as easily as possible, with lots of breaks and lots of low-key things I enjoy (I did a lot of doodling yesterday.)

I had a good text chat with a dear friend of mine.

I went to bed early.

It wasn’t an easy day but it wasn’t nearly as hard as it could have been.

I’m glad it’s behind me though.