Me and ADHD

Reminding Myself To Rest

No matter how many times I remind myself that work and rest are part of the same cycle, I still forget.

It’s not that I am so caught up in productivity that I refuse to rest.

And it’s not that I think that my value lies in my work.

It’s that I literally forget that doing a lot of things a lot of days in a row makes me tired.

So at the end of a flurry of busy days, I find it weird to be tired and my brain wanders off in search of the reason why.

And then, when realization dawns, I have a good laugh at myself and take some downtime.

Brains are weird creatures.

Invoking Creativity

12 or 13 years ago, I was in Colorado for a convention and I found a great-smelling little shop that sold candles (and other cool stuff.)

I bought one that invoked creativity and brought it home with me, making most of my luggage smell creative in the process.

I burnt that candle sparingly but eventually I had used it up. I was able to find another online (spending a fortune on shipping!) and used that one sparingly until it too was gone.

I kept a little bit of the wax – not nearly enough to melt into a new candle – just because it smelled so great- but I just couldn’t justify the expense of getting another shipped here.

Then, a few years back, I discovered that a local store – The Natural Emporium* – carried them so I have been happily invoking creativity ever since.

Do I actually need outside help to invoke creativity?

No.

Do I enjoy how the smell of this candle puts me in mind of how often I have created things while the candle burned nearby?

Most definitely.

It’s good to for anyone to surround themselves with reminders of the things that are important to them.

It’s especially important for people with ADHD because those visual cues (and olfactory cues in the case) can help keep our plans and wishes top of mind.

Also, I just like it.

A photo of a lit purple candle in a small glass container
My creativity candle sat in the edge while I read on the tub yesterday. Image description: a purple candle in a small glass container sits on the edge of a bathtub with the blue shower curtain in the background. The white label on the candle has the word ‘creativity’ in purple at the top, then an square of rainbow lines with an artist’s palette etched into it. Below the rainbow square is text reading ‘“allow me to explore new dimensions, discover, new thoughts, ideas, and emotions.” and the name of the company – Crystal Journey Candles

*An absolutely delightful place run by a kind and delightfully enthusiastic woman and her low-key and friendly staff.

I don’t buy stuff at my door

Ok, that’s not strictly true.

I will buy chocolates or raffle tickets from neighbourhood kids.

I’m not a monster.

Well, not that kind of monster anyway.

But I’m always baffled by how big companies will send people door to door to try and sell their services.

I guess enough people must buy stuff so it is worth the company’s while but I hate the idea.

Yesterday, I was working when someone knocked at my door. Khalee was going bananas, barking and running around,

I was expecting a friend to be dropping something off so I assumed she was just letting me know it was there and I went down to collect it from the mailbox.

Instead, I see some guy standing in my doorstep with a tablet in hand. He says ‘Sorry, I didn’t see your sign about the barky dog until I had already knocked.’

I’m not a complete jerk so I stepped out (in the rain! ) onto the steps to talk to him. Holding the door open wasn’t an option because Khalee would keep freaking out.

He’s wearing a company lanyard and I say that I already deal with that company. He replies that that’s why he’s here and that he was shipped in from Nova Scotia to talk to existing customers.

That seems weird but big companies do weird stuff sometimes.

Then he starts on his spiel.

“I’m here to get you set up with our home security system, get you a break on your insurance. We’ll put the camera up here…”

Now, this is the worst thing you could possibly do if you are trying to sell me something. If you start your pitch as if I have already made up my mind, I am going to say no.

I mean, I already have a policy against buying anything major at the door – I need time to consider my purchases and that’s not possible at the door- but I will double down on my “No.” if I feel like you are being scammy.

And that kind of spiel may result in sales but it’s scammy and slimy.

It’s a way to reduce people’s resistance, to ease past their objections.

If you just want sales, I guess it’s a helpful technique.

But if you want happy, engaged customers, it’s just gross.

So, I said “No camera. I don’t want one.“ and grabbed the door handle to go back inside.

“How about an alarm system?”

“Got one.”

“With what company?”

“I’m not discussing this. I don’t want to change services. I’m going back inside. Good luck out there.”

And I go back inside.

I felt bad for this young guy. Maybe this is the only job he could get and it was definitely no fun traipsing around in the chilly rain yesterday.

But I am not signing up for a security system at my front door because ai pity him.

I don’t buy stuff at my door.

I definitely don’t buy scammy-feeling stuff at my front door…or ever.

PS – I do believe he was working for the company he said he was working for, it didn’t feel like that kind of scam. It was the technique, not the product, that felt scammy.

Gold Star For Me

As part of my coaching practice, I give out gold stars for effort.

Yes, you read that right.

You get a gold star for the effort you put into your tasks, not just for the result.

I find that so much more rewarding AND it helps people remember that their efforts always matter, no matter how things turn out.

Today has been a bit of a struggle (no crisis, just ordinary hard) but I am putting one foot in front of the other.

Gold star for me!

A drawing of a gold star on a blue background with purple and white embellishments.
A gold star I just drew for myself. Image description: a small drawing of a gold star surrounded by purple and white star outlines against a blue background decorated with white and purple dots. The drawing is resting against a few pens and markers that are spilling out of my pencil case.

Sunday Morning Robots

As I write this, I’m sitting at my kitchen table on a sunny, chilly Sunday morning, watching an episode of Vera and drawing.

I often find it hard to watch TV or a movie without doing something else at the same time. I don’t know if that’s an ADHD thing or just a people thing. Either way, it’s not a reflection on how interesting the show is.

And I often find it hard to get around to drawing all on its own , too. That *is* an ADHD thing, I find it challenging to start any new task that I know will require a lot of focus or that will take a long time. (And since I have a lot of trouble breaking projects into smaller tasks, it always feels like everything will take forever.)

So the TV/drawing combination works for me.

I just have to choose a show that doesn’t require full concentration and a drawing that is about process instead of about thinking up new stuff.

Hence this robot party that’s just getting started in here:

A series of brightly coloured rectangles drawn on white paper.
They aren’t robots yet but they will be soon. Image description: a photo of a drawing of a series of brightly coloured rectangles with a smaller rectangle on top of each one. They’re on a rectangular piece of white paper that’s resting on a wooden table and there is a pile of markers and pens at the top of the image.