Mombie – a bit of everything

Reminding Myself To Rest

No matter how many times I remind myself that work and rest are part of the same cycle, I still forget.

It’s not that I am so caught up in productivity that I refuse to rest.

And it’s not that I think that my value lies in my work.

It’s that I literally forget that doing a lot of things a lot of days in a row makes me tired.

So at the end of a flurry of busy days, I find it weird to be tired and my brain wanders off in search of the reason why.

And then, when realization dawns, I have a good laugh at myself and take some downtime.

Brains are weird creatures.

Saturday Six for April 15, 2023

Six things I enjoyed this week:

1) Listening the audio book of Anne Cleeves’ The Heron’s Cry

2) Getting to hang out with my dear friend Mary three separate times

3) Leading a writing encouragement session

4) Leading a storytelling session

5) Taking morning walks (for a change!) with Khalee

6) Getting some future plans sorted for my volunteer organizations.

All good things, all worthwhile things, and I’d like to say more about each one but I am just too damn tired to be chatty.

Invoking Baking Magic

On Monday evening, a sick relative requested some chocolate chip cookies to help them feel better.

I immediately starting assembling my ingredients only to discover that I didn’t have any eggs or egg replacer.

After a quick google search I found that ground flax and water was a good egg substitute (let’s leave aside the question of why I had FLAX but not eggs – my kitchen is a mystery, even to me.)

I was finding the mixture a little dry so I put a little yogurt in with it (yogurt was another suggested substitute) and the cookies turned out grand.

I know these substitutes work because of chemistry and whatnot but I prefer to think that I just used a different spell this time.

Let’s go with that.

Chocolate chip cookies on a red plate
Image description: a close up shot of 8 chocolate chip cookies on a red plate.

On Walking

When my kids were little, I loved going for a walk with them in the stroller.

I hated getting ready to go for a walk, all the hassle of snowsuits or sunscreen, but the walk itself felt really good.

Not only was I getting some exercise but I was being a “good” mom, making sure my kids had fresh air and that they had gotten out of the house and…you know how that virtuous feeling goes.

Pushing them in the stroller felt especially purposeful. I guess it was hard enough work that it counted for something in my brain.

When they got too old for the stroller, I still liked getting out for a walk, especially if we had a destination in mind. It wasn’t the same but it was still good.

When they got old enough I walked them back and forth to school. That, obviously, also felt purposeful.

When they no longer needed me to walk them there, I pretty much only walked when I needed to get somewhere and walking there (or home) was feasible.

Overall, I liked the *idea* of walking for exercise (and I love listening to books or podcasts while I walk) but I had trouble making myself head out unless I had somewhere specific to go.

But, once Khalee came into our lives in 2019, my walks had automatic purpose again.

On any given day, I might feel kind of meh about heading out for a walk, but I won’t let Khalee down.

Unless the weather is truly horrible/dangerous or I am very sick, Khalee and I bundle up and head out.

Sometimes it’s tricky to schedule that walk into my day but it’s always worth it. We both feel better afterwards (well, I definitely do and Khalee always seems relaxed after a walk.)

I still hate having to get us ready to go out though but at least Khalee doesn’t complain about it as much as the kids did. 😉

One thing at a time, right?

It’s funny how my brain keeps insisting that if I can’t do ALL of the things then there’s no point in doing any of the things.

Time after time, I have proven my brain wrong on this. I have shown it that the only way to get things done is bit by bit. Yet, it insists that I have to be working on everything all the time or nothing at all.

This brain muddle results in me feeling like I am trapped in a weird time zone where I have lots of time to putter around yet I simultaneously have too much to do.

I am somehow busily unbusy.

And the thing that would give me peace of mind – working slowly away at my projects in the ample time I have available – is the one thing that my brain resists doing.

Luckily, once I become aware of the feeling of busy unbusyness, I can take steps to stop it. Unfortunately, it can take me a while to become aware of what’s bothering me.

ADHD is quite annoying that way (and in many other ways.)