walks

Ups and Downs

Yesterday was a pretty good day but I didn’t sleep well last night and today is really hard.

My walk with Khalee helped a bit.

A photo of a shallow river in early spring.
A sunny day photo of a shallow river with lots of exposed stones, surrounded by winter-worn grass and bare trees.

I assume things will keep going like this for a long time and I just have to remember that there will be more peaceful days ahead.

A longer walk

Yesterday, after a meeting, I decided to walk home.

Most of the year, this walk would be pretty straightforward but with snow still in patches on the paths , it was a bit uncertain.

I still enjoyed it though.

I really like walking for transportation but my ADHD used to get in the way quite often and I would find that I didn’t have quite enough time to get myself to my planned destination and I’d need to take the car.

It was easier if I got dropped off because there was less timing pressure for getting home.

Now though, after years of meditation and conscious work on how to make my own ADHD life flow more smoothly, I can usually plan enough time to walk in either direction or I can decide on the best plan in advance.

All of this is to say that I had an enjoyable walk home yesterday and I felt grateful for a bit of time to move and think and listen to a podcast.

Also, I saw a cool tree.

A grey tree trunk with some parts of the roots above ground
I don’t know exactly what I find so cool but I really like this tree. Image description: the grey trunk of a (currently) leafless medium-sized tree with parts of some of the larger roots visible above ground. The trunk splits into two large parts (branches?) about 3ft from the ground and there is a whole in the branch (?) on the right side that looks like a monster eye. It’s surrounded by dead grass and leaves and there is a big patch of snow and other trees in the background nearby.

Weirdness Abounds

A couple of weeks back, on a family member’s birthday, I made a mistake on the card I was writing for them.

(I often draw little cards for people and then write a message myself. This is partially due to forgetting to buy cards and partially due to enjoying the process of drawing one.)

I tore up that card (I was writing in marker) and I either threw it out or threw it in the recycling. I know I *should* have recycled it but if I was distracted, it might have gotten tossed into the garbage.

And I thought nothing more of it…until Tuesday.

On Tuesday, Khalee and I were walking along the sidewalk about 7 or 8 minutes from my house and I noticed a piece of paper with familiar handwriting on it sitting on a little patch of grass between piles of snow.

I picked it up to look closer and it was a piece of the torn-up, first draft card.

How did it get there?

Did our bag of recycling get torn and the piece of index card went flying?

Did a bag of garbage tear open in the truck and release this scrap of paper?

Did I unwittingly put the scraps in my pocket that day and then pull them out with my keys or my mittens as I was walking along?

All of these explanations seem unlikely (especially the last one) but clearly one of them must be true.

Otherwise we have some sort of time travelling/alternate universe/portal situation on the go and I don’t have the bandwidth to deal with that. 😉

On Walking

When my kids were little, I loved going for a walk with them in the stroller.

I hated getting ready to go for a walk, all the hassle of snowsuits or sunscreen, but the walk itself felt really good.

Not only was I getting some exercise but I was being a “good” mom, making sure my kids had fresh air and that they had gotten out of the house and…you know how that virtuous feeling goes.

Pushing them in the stroller felt especially purposeful. I guess it was hard enough work that it counted for something in my brain.

When they got too old for the stroller, I still liked getting out for a walk, especially if we had a destination in mind. It wasn’t the same but it was still good.

When they got old enough I walked them back and forth to school. That, obviously, also felt purposeful.

When they no longer needed me to walk them there, I pretty much only walked when I needed to get somewhere and walking there (or home) was feasible.

Overall, I liked the *idea* of walking for exercise (and I love listening to books or podcasts while I walk) but I had trouble making myself head out unless I had somewhere specific to go.

But, once Khalee came into our lives in 2019, my walks had automatic purpose again.

On any given day, I might feel kind of meh about heading out for a walk, but I won’t let Khalee down.

Unless the weather is truly horrible/dangerous or I am very sick, Khalee and I bundle up and head out.

Sometimes it’s tricky to schedule that walk into my day but it’s always worth it. We both feel better afterwards (well, I definitely do and Khalee always seems relaxed after a walk.)

I still hate having to get us ready to go out though but at least Khalee doesn’t complain about it as much as the kids did. 😉